The 4 Horsemen That Predict….. Attrition

Have you ever heard of John Gottman, the Gottman institute or their ideas around conflict resolution and marriage success predicting factors? Probably not as let’s be honest, not many of us are big on self-improvement, bettering relationships and in general personal Human Work just as not many of us are willing to do the Human Work in the workplace either. It is this lack of care and intentional work that leads to more and more divorce and I put it to us today, that it is this lack of care and intentional work that will eventually lead to more and more "work divorce" aka attrition as well.

The first horseman in Gottman's model is “criticism”, which refers to negative comments or attacks on a person's character. In the workplace, unconstructive criticism can take the form of harsh feedback or public humiliation. The dreaded “blame culture” and in toxic cultures systemic bullying. When employees feel criticized or attacked, they are likely to become disengaged and unproductive. This of course can lead to increased absenteeism, decreased morale, and ultimately, attrition.

The second horseman is "defensiveness", which refers to the tendency to react defensively when feeling attacked or criticized. In the workplace, defensiveness can take the form of blaming others or denying responsibility. When employees feel defensive, they are likely to become even more disengaged and unproductive. This impacts Psychological Safety immediately and with it the ability of the team can have to collaborate as it leads to a lack of trust, low job satisfaction, decreased well-being, lower performance and productivity and ultimately, attrition.

The third horseman is "stonewalling", which refers to the act of withdrawing from genuine communication or interaction. In the workplace, stonewalling can take the form of avoiding conflict or shutting down emotionally. When employees feel ignored or dismissed, they are likely to become disengaged and unproductive. This can lead to a lack of collaboration and innovation, leading to decreased morale and ultimately, attrition.

The last and most dangerous of horsemen is "contempt", which refers to the feeling of disgust or disrespect towards another person. In the workplace, contempt is an insidious concept as it isn’t as manifest and easy to pinpoint as it would be in a marriage’s context but keep reading and you’ll see why these ushers in most worries for attrition.